In this episode, Beth revisits a transformative concept from the book The Gap and the Gain by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy, offering a deeply Catholic perspective on what it means to track growth, progress, and purpose.

Many of us fall into the trap of measuring ourselves against an ideal that always feels just out of reach. Whether it’s in our faith life, our weight loss journey, or our vocations, we compare our current state to the version of ourselves we think we should be by now. That ideal, while well-intentioned, can leave us discouraged, disconnected, and feeling like we’re always behind.

Beth invites us to flip that perspective—and find peace in the gain.

Living in the Gap vs. Living in the Gain

The “gap” is the space between where we are and where we wish we were. It’s fueled by perfectionism, comparison, and often shame. When we live in the gap, we measure backward from the ideal, which constantly moves further away.

As Catholics, this can feel especially heavy—we want to grow in virtue, live holy lives, fast perfectly, and love well. But when we focus only on where we fall short, we miss the grace already at work within us.

The “gain,” on the other hand, measures how far we’ve come. It’s rooted in gratitude, clarity, and the recognition that God is moving in our lives even in small, quiet ways. Living in the gain is not about lowering the bar—it’s about seeing progress with a grateful heart and honoring the work God is doing, one step at a time.

A Catholic Reframe: Gratitude, Grace, and Growth

Beth beautifully reframes the gain as a spiritual discipline. Just as we examine our conscience or reflect during adoration, we can look at our journey with Christ through the lens of gain:

• How has God already changed my heart?

• Where was I last month, last year, or five years ago?

• What virtues have grown in me through fasting, prayer, or community?

When we intentionally name the gain, we shift our mindset from striving to surrender. We stop clinging to performance and begin living in peaceful trust. This is not self-congratulation—it’s Christ-centered gratitude.

Fasting and Measuring Progress the Right Way

In the Delay and Pray® framework, spiritual fasting is not just about food—it’s about discipline, detachment, and growing in holiness. But too often, we judge our fasting success by how perfectly we follow a food plan or whether the scale is moving.

Beth encourages a different kind of measurement. What if we measured:

• How many times we paused to pray instead of eat?

• How often we got back up after falling?

• How much more peace we felt this week compared to last?

Living in the gain transforms fasting into worship. It keeps us grounded in Christ instead of caught in cycles of guilt.

Nunc Coepi: Now I Begin Again

One of the most comforting truths is the reminder that even when we fall into the gap, we are never stuck. The Catholic response is always, Nunc Coepi—now I begin again. We turn to the sacraments, renew our efforts, and shift our gaze to the gain.

Beth reminds us that this mindset is not just a mental trick—it’s a spiritual posture. It’s the way saints thought. It’s the way Christ meets us. And it’s how we become people of joy and perseverance, even during struggle.

The enemy wants you to live in the gap, always focused on how far you have to go. But God invites you to live in the gain—to see what He’s already done, to give thanks, and to keep going with hope. Every gain is evidence of grace. And grace is always enough.

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Resources from Today’s Show:

The Gap and The Gain (book)

Delay and Pray® Links:

Get your copy of Delay and Pray® (book)

The Catholic Fasting Coach

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